Recently, one of the biggest complaints that I have been hearing about leaders is how a lack of self-awareness is impacting their performance. Employees complain about...
In today’s complex and fast-paced work environment, leadership isn’t just about what you do—it’s about how you show up. And that begins with your inner world.
So often, leaders focus on external strategies—communication skills, performance metrics, or managing others—without taking time to reflect inward. Yet the most impactful, trusted leaders are those who have learned to pause, process, and lead from a place of inner clarity.
As an executive coach, I often find leaders unconsciously internalise limiting beliefs about what they can’t do—believing they’re not strategic enough, not inspiring enough, or not equipped to handle difficult conversations. These beliefs quietly shape their behaviour and decision-making, creating self-imposed barriers that hold them back.
When we focus on what we don’t want or fear, we unintentionally reinforce those outcomes—because our energy and attention amplify them. The real shift happens when leaders begin to focus on what they do want: to lead with clarity, build trust, inspire performance, and create aligned teams.
Through intentional self-reflection, leaders can uncover these limiting narratives, reframe them, and reconnect with who they truly want to be. This inner clarity becomes the foundation for confident, values-driven leadership.
So let me share some techniques that I use in both my leadership coaching practice and in my leadership development course to help.
Self Awareness Leadership
Being an effective leader all starts with improving self-awareness.
Research indicates that those who have an inflated sense of their own skills and who understate these interpersonal issues are six times more likely to fail than those with accurate self-awareness.
Self-awareness is about noticing and understanding your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours in the moment.
Improving our self-awareness requires working with a mix of both internal and external self-awareness techniques. External being receiving feedback from others and taking stock of assessment results. While internal self-awareness is boosted through journaling, yoga, meditation and talking to a coach or therapist.This is where using regular self-reflection techniques becomes important to improve your leadership and your life.
Self-reflection goes deeper than self-awareness —it's about pausing to examine why you do what you do, what drives you, and how to grow. Ideally, you work with an executive coach or therapist to get the best results, but you can make progress on your own.
In this article, I am going to share four powerful self-reflection practices that will help you become more grounded, emotionally aware, and aligned in how you lead. Whether you’re navigating a tough decision, managing change, or simply feeling off balance, these practices will help you lead with more confidence, compassion, and presence—starting from within.
Four Self-Reflection Practices for self awareness leadership
1. Forgive Yourself
Leadership can be a constant tug-of-war between high expectations and human limitations. Whether it's a difficult conversation that didn’t go well, a decision that backfired, or simply falling short of how you wanted to show up—leaders often carry the weight of regret longer than they need to.
Self-reflection isn’t about judging yourself. It’s about observing with compassion—and that starts with forgiveness.
When you don’t forgive yourself, you can fall into overthinking, self-doubt, or defensiveness. It subtly erodes your confidence and creates a fear of making mistakes, which can lead to playing small or avoiding growth opportunities.
Forgiveness, on the other hand, clears the mental and emotional clutter. It frees you to lead with humility, self-trust, and resilience. It allows you to acknowledge what happened, learn from it, and move forward without carrying the past like a burden.
Ask yourself:
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What am I still judging myself for?
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What would shift if I chose to forgive myself fully?
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How can I show myself the same compassion I offer others?
When you lead from a place of self-forgiveness, you model emotional intelligence and psychological safety for your team. You show that mistakes are learning opportunities—not character flaws—and that growth is always possible.
Not only that you can let go and reset. When we don't forgive ourselves we are more likely to ruminate, have trouble sleeping, keep getting sick or act from a place of defensiveness.
2. Forgive Others
Work relationships can be a rich source of growth—and frustration. Colleagues miss deadlines, say the wrong thing, overlook your contributions, or make decisions that affect you without consultation. Over time, these moments can pile up, creating tension, distrust, or quiet resentment.
But here’s the truth: when you hold on to those frustrations, you carry emotional baggage that weighs down your leadership presence. You might become more reactive, less open, or subtly guarded in conversations—all of which affect how your team experiences you.
Not only that it negatively impacts your health and leadership performance.
According to the Mayo Clinic, there are substantial business benefits when it comes to forgiveness. Holding on to resentment does more than strain your relationships—it takes a real toll on your physical and mental well-being.
Forgiveness lowers blood pressure, boosts your immune system, reduces anxiety and hostility, improves relationships (both at work and personally) and improves self-esteem.
Forgiveness isn’t about condoning poor behaviour. It’s about choosing to release the grip that hurt or disappointment has on your energy and focus. It's a leadership decision to clear space—for clarity, compassion, and connection.
Forgiving others doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending everything is okay. It means:
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Acknowledging the impact of the situation
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Taking responsibility for your own response
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Choosing not to let it define how you lead going forward
Ask yourself:
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Who do I need to let off the emotional hook so I can lead more freely?
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What am I holding onto that’s costing me peace, trust, or energy?
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How might forgiveness open up a new possibility in this relationship?
Leaders who can forgive are leaders who can move forward. They create teams where mistakes don’t define people, and where growth is possible even after conflict. That’s not just good leadership—it’s transformative.
3. Move from Feeling Bad to Feeling Good
It’s natural to regret something you did or said at work. But instead of seeing it as a chance to grow, we often interpret it as a sign that something is wrong with us. We focus on the discomfort—“I feel like a fraud,” “I don’t feel confident”—and try to fix the feeling, rather than the behaviour.
But here’s the shift: You don’t need to wait until you feel good to take action.
In fact, confidence doesn’t come before competence—it comes after repeated practice and aligned action.
When you’re building new leadership capabilities, you’ll often feel off balance. That’s part of the growth. If you get stuck in the feeling of not being good enough, you reinforce the belief. But if you act like the leader you want to be—calm, clear, kind, courageous—you’ll start creating evidence that reinforces your new identity.
Don’t feel into what went wrong. Behave into what’s possible.
Try these self-reflection questions to shift your focus forward:
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Who do I want to become as a leader in this situation?
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What qualities do I admire in leaders I trust—and how can I practice one of them today?
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If I had already mastered this capability, how would I behave right now?
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What small action could I take that aligns with how I want to feel?
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Am I trying to feel good before taking action—or can I take action to generate the feeling?
The truth is, the feeling you’re chasing—confidence, calm, credibility—comes as a byproduct of acting in alignment with who you want to be. The more you take action from that place, the more natural it becomes.
4. Get into Alignment with Your Company Goals
One of the most common reasons leaders struggle to lead effectively—especially when it comes to change, innovation, or holding others accountable—is a lack of alignment between their personal goals and the organisation’s strategic direction.
When that clarity is missing, it leads to hesitation, procrastination, overthinking—or overcompensating through micromanagement. Leaders find themselves reacting rather than leading.
But when you're in alignment—when your focus and actions match what the business truly needs—something shifts. You stop second-guessing yourself. You lead with calm conviction. Your priorities sharpen, and your team feels it too.
Clarity is liberating.
It fills you with a quiet confidence, a sense of grounded energy. It’s the foundation that allows you to move forward with purpose and lead with integrity—even in uncertainty.
To find that alignment, you must first make space to reflect. Not just on your to-do list, but on the bigger picture:
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What matters most to the business right now?
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What’s being asked of me as a leader—and am I delivering it?
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Where are my personal goals misaligned (or disconnected) from the company’s goals?
This means carving out intentional thinking time to:
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Reconnect with the company’s vision, mission and values
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Clarify your own values and career direction
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Understand your role and responsibilities—and those of your team
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Identify where expectations or priorities are unclear or misaligned
Only then can you make decisions that are strategic, not just tactical. You move from reacting to responding. You stop trying to do more and start doing what actually matters.
Try reflecting on these questions:
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Do I clearly understand the current strategic priorities of my organisation?
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How do my personal goals and values align (or misalign) with where the business is heading?
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What decisions am I making right now that are based on habit or fear—not alignment?
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Where am I spending time that doesn't serve the business—or my growth as a leader?
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What conversations do I need to have to get clearer on expectations or direction?
When your leadership is aligned—internally and externally—you become a force of clarity and momentum for your team. And that’s when real progress begins.
Embedding Regular Self-Reflection for SELF AWARE Leadership
Great leadership doesn’t start with strategies, tools, or KPIs—it starts within. When you take time to reflect, realign, and clear emotional and mental clutter, you show up with greater clarity, presence, and impact.
By forgiving yourself and others, shifting your emotional state intentionally, and aligning your decisions with what truly matters in your organisation, you create a foundation for sustainable, authentic leadership.
These four self-reflection practices are not just personal—they’re profoundly practical. They help you lead with more confidence, connection, and purpose in a world that needs steady, self-aware leaders more than ever.
So the next time you feel stuck or unsure, pause. Go inward. Because how you lead yourself determines how you lead others.
If you want help with improving your self awareness as a leader, then come and join my free webinar Future-Ready Leadership: 3 Skills Leaders Must Master to Stay Ahead Today.
