Unlock Your Leadership Potential: Start by Giving Yourself Permission

Recently, I have noticed a lot of my coaching clients are finding their roles difficult because of behaviours from the top.

It could be because they have a boss who micromanages them, or a leadership team who fails to give them enough strategic direction to lead their team or a leader who keeps changing their mind.

In an ideal world, we would have bosses who were clear on the strategy and leaders who supported us with crystal clear clarity and deep appreciation.

Unfortunately, there are times in our careers when we are led by insecure, unsure leaders who are often overwhelmed by heavy workloads.

It is up to us as to whether we feel frustrated and hampered by how we are being led or we take the reins and we lead ourselves.

Let me give you an example.

Stacey is a sales leader at a midsize industrial organisation who looks after the Melbourne sales division. She has been in this role for nine years and clients prefer to go to her because of her detailed product knowledge and care for client projects.

The CEO of the organisation called me in to help Stacey because she seemed very unhappy and stressed out in her job.

The reason was because her direct boss, Perth-based national sales manager, Bill, was not reading her email requests properly, would hassle her about doing more sales (when she was doing other projects required by the CEO) and he would come to Melbourne every four weeks to see her clients.

During his "hero's journey" he would make her set up all his appointments and then see clients she had been nurturing and win them over by coming in with a second (cheaper) quote. He also seemed to find it difficult to give her positive feedback (including thanking her for bringing in the best sales ever in a month) and noticing all of the work she was doing.

When I started coaching Stacey, she was in a pretty dark place. What she needed to learn was that she had power and it was her choice to use it.

In fact, her first choice was about her job. She could leave and find a job elsewhere (she was regularly being head-hunted) or she could make good use of the independence and trust the CEO had in her and step up.

Stacey chose to stay. So we then worked on what options she had to make her job role more pleasant.

We started with her learning to be more assertive. This included better managing her sales manager. Rather than seek his approval or validation for quotes, it was time for Stacey to trust in her ability to know what to do. 

Not only that, what was remarkable about Stacey was she could see when a process was slowing down client orders and she would step in and fix it. 

During her boss's Melbourne visits, she understood which client visits boosted the organisation's credibility and when they didn't. So the next step was for her to list these type of clients and then plan his next Melbourne visit to ensure they added value - not only to clients but to the business as well. 

Rather than do what she thought he wanted, I gave her permission to plan his sales that made a difference to the company (which in the process helped her and reduced her stress levels).

In addition, we also worked on her giving her boss a job in return. We worked on how Stacey could better design his tasks to manage her better rather than him making them up. HIs default method was to nitpick her quotes when she asked him to review them.

Instead, what she needed to do was define how he needed to give her feedback by being more specific in what advice she needed from him. For example, rather than saying "Please review my quote." A better approach was to ask him for more specific information on how she put the quote together.  This included getting his opinion on three different design options and which solution he thought would work best for the client. It also meant going to him less with questions

What Stacey didn't realise was how much power she had to change her situation. As a sales manager leading herself in another state far away from head office, she had more freedom and autonomy than most people. But she wasn't embracing it. The result was that her wellbeing had suffered and her joy in life had diminished.

Yet, the reality was all she needed to do was give herself permission to lead and work the way the business actually needed her to. With her bosses in Perth, they couldn't see what needed to be done in Melbourne. But she could - she knew the market, she knew the processes in the factory and she knew what resources she could use to rectify issues. Yet, she kept feeling that it wasn't her place to step in, so she would get more frustrated about dysfunctional work practices that slowed everyone down.

So Stacey gave herself permission to work with the Melbourne operations manager to streamline the processes and systems. Her energy and enthusiasm was infectious. And she felt a renewed sense of enjoying her job.

Give Yourself Permission

According to a recent Harvard Business Review article, digital technologies and artificial intelligence now let managers make decisions and experiment in a decentralised way that enables both independence and accountability at the team level.

It's creating what's called the permissionless organisation - one that uses digital technologies to unleash the creative and collaborative potential of people rather than trapping them in endless reporting. It means that organisations need to give people permission to make decisions who are closest to the customer to add value. 

It's not always easy. Because this is new to most of us.

We have all grown up in an education system where we learnt as children to always do what teachers requested. For assignments or exams, there was never any leeway to change things. We always had to follow the rules, even when they didn't make sense.

But workplaces don't make sense, either. Things change daily and no leader can be on top of all the different needs and requirements of customers and employees. In the face of ambiguity, if you look for answers from the top, you won't always get the answers you need.

That's why leaders who take it upon themselves to change things in real time are really valuable (and happier). 

This means having the courage to put your stake in the ground when things are changing around you and make a decision. The best decision you can with the information that you currently have received. Knowing that things might still change, but at least you have something to aim for that either helps motivate you or your team.

At the heart of giving yourself permission is knowing that you have choices.  You have options. You can keep feeling that you are not receiving the leadership that you need (and get frustrated by it) or you can just go out and change things until someone tells you to stop.

In the end, that's what real leadership is about. Someone who can see what needs to be done and who goes out and does it without asking for permission or validation. And it's where the future of work is heading. 

When you lead with the intent of doing the best for the organisation and both internal and external customers alike, not only will that help the organisation, but also your sense of freedom to get things done right. That's priceless - not only to your wellbeing, but your organisation's wellbeing.

So think about where you are frustrated in your job right now. What options can you think of to fix the situation? And what do you need to do to give yourself permission to choose an option and run with it?

Want help up-levelling your leadership skills for today and the future of work. Learn more about the Tribe of Trusted Leaders - Leadership Mastermind. Enrolments open now. Limited places.